Maam, I Am No Asian SuperHeRo 
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on 04-04-2012 at 05:07 PM (282 Views)
on 04-04-2012 at 05:07 PM (282 Views)
It’s a beautiful sunny Spring afternoon at the park by the beach.While we were having a chit chat about sports, rants,raves and all sorts of randomness, I started to see one of my friends just dart out of the gate. I automatically ran because I thought it was some sort of accident. It turns out it was an old lady yelling because she was getting mugged. Ok well maybe not mugged, but some lady was trying to snatch her purse and the old lady was hell bent on not letting it go.
After a mob of people and 4 of my friends arrive, the lady that tried to take the purse was nabbed and held down by a few in the mob.
People in the mob started yelling at the lady who tried to snatch the bag, ‘get the bitch and call the cops’.The old lady who’s bag was snatched was shaking and looking like she’d go into cardiac arrest. Finally this white guy with a beard and surf shorts jumps out and says ‘Just let the bitch go, she didn’t get the purse I think she learned her lesson’
Ok, fine, everythings good, the old lady went on her way and the mob disburses, and yes, they sent the bitch on her way as well.
Now I look down the corner and my friend yells ‘Hey down the street she got another one!!’
Yep, you guessed it, the one that got away got another.
As I looked down the street with my friend, we see the lady take another old ladys purse but this time, slams her to the ground and jumps in a white sedan.So I run there with my friends and we see her on the ground with blood on the side of her head. The cops arrive and start circling the neighborhood, after about 10 minutes another cop radios in that they have suspects, and asked me and my friend if we would identify the individuals. (I love the shows America’s Most Wanted and Cops just as a side note
So we hopped in the Cop cruiser and drove about 6 blocks, and there was the white sedan, I didn’t see the plate, but i did remember the bumper stickers. Out came the first suspect. A dark skinned female with short hair, light colored shorts and slim. “Officer that’s definitely the lady who mugged both ladies. “Sir ,she jumped in the car though on the passenger side, I honestly didn’t see the driver so I couldn’t testify in court I saw him because shit I really didn’t,the bumper stickers and car I’m sure about though, no doubt in my mind”
So out comes the driver from the back of the cruiser in cuffs and , whoooa, guess who? Yep, you guessed it, the White guy with a beard and surf shorts, the guy that told the mob to ‘Just let the bitch go’. Bingo, how ingenious, and even if i didn’t see his face, those Billibong Shorts was as good as a fingerprint in my mind, hey man I’m a surfer remember?
The weird thing is as we saw the lady in cuffs in the back of the police cruiser, she started to flash her boobs at us like to say, hey if you tell them it wasnt me you can have these. “bitch please’
Anyways as we left court that day to testify, me and my friend met the old lady who got slammed on the street, she started to thank me and my buddy and pulled out a checkbook to offer a reward. I just felt bad taking anything like that. It would almost be criminal. So I told her if she bought us a few hotdogs we’d be square, I just didn’t feel like an Asian Super-hero,I just don’t think the world is quite ready or deserving of one just yet.
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